Maytree

Stress today or even this time of year is something I think we all suffer with. As you know if you read my words often, my husband just retired so its been a wee bit busy recently.Also I did my first ever craft market and I have stressed over making things and worried I would not be good enough.

Then my daughter in law Karen asked if we would like to attend a concert she is singing at , with her choir. She told me it was to raise money for a charity and gave me some information .
It really put my stress to silly level and made me realise that their are many many people who are much more in stress them myself.

Maytree is a sanctuary for the suicidal. It offers help and also one- off four nights stay to adults in suicidal crisis, in a calm and safe residential setting in north London.
It provides a place to rest and think about why, someone to talk to which is wonderful. Also to know it is private and confidential and non medical.

Like most charity's it is independent so fund raising it so important. I thought it was such a wonderful charity as I can not imagine the stress some people can feel. Having a place to go and speak to someone, or just to have someone listen while you talk is so great.

I really hope the concert on the 1st raises a whole load of money and raises the profile of this charity.
If you would like to know more about Maytree the web site is

www.maytree.org.uk

Review of Bohemia by Veronika Carnaby

I was asked to read and review this novel and was interested to do so as I love to read. So lets start with some of the plot, without giving to much away I hope.
The story starts back in the 1960's and focuses on the lives of 4 young people who live in London. Their names being Valerie, Emmaline , Lester and Jimmy. It was the end of school and Valerie and Emmaline where just hanging around look for something to do. When Jimmy and Lester offer them a job they jump at the chance for a little adventure.

They danced at a bar while the boys served and they all lived together in a tiny apartment, they did not have much but it was fun .
Then Jimmy went off and after weeks of being missing he came home. "We are all moving to America" he told them just like that. So they set up home in New York but after a few months they thought they would move on . Driving away in their 56' Bel Air convertible and went to New Hampshire. They soon got bored with being in a town and wanted to be free so settle in a small town called Nashua.

I will leave you to read the rest yourself as I would not want to spoil it for you. I really enjoyed reading this novel very much. I found it well written and a good mix of characters and places.
The story line very much draws you in and makes you care about the young people and what they live through.

I have not read any of Veronika Carnaby's work before but will do in the future. A perfect book to curl up with in the winter months.

You can read more about this novel and  at Amazon.com/Veronkia-carnaby

Craft Market

So those who know me also know I am always sewing something. I learnt to sew from my mum and I hope she would be proud I am keeping up all I got from her.
Friends are always saying I should sell my things but I never really do. Then recently my daughter in law Karen saw an item about a local craft market, and suggested I give it a go.

So I set myself a target of trying to make at least 3 things a day and for 3 months that's what I did.
It was very hard at times and I began to wish I had never got myself involved. Plus I was worried I would look silly and be up against top retailers with smart products and stalls.

So last Saturday the day arrived and I have to say I was rather nervous. I felt better that my husband and my two children and daughter in law were all coming to help me, so I was not alone.
It took ages to set up the stall but by the time we did I felt very proud.

Natalie, Karen and myself
love those Christmas hats

Karen doing a great job on the stall 

It was a long day but people seem to like my things which made me feel good. We had fun and that was even with the cold weather. I have to say a huge thanks to Matthew, Karen, Natalie and Kevin because without their help I could not have done it. I did say never again but maybe ................
I have a web site being built so watch this space and then you can check out my things for yourself.

Pain

Pain Pain and more Pain. Sorry to moan today but I am having so many problems these days with my arthritis. I makes me sad but I pretend I am fine and carry on as normal.
If you do not live with chronic pain you just will not understand what a person who does goes through. It a constant struggle to just function and live your life as best you can.

Normally as per my blog name I am Jolly and I try to not let people really know how I am feeling. That can also work against you as people think you are capable of doing more.
I am about to go and get a new MRI scan done as its been awhile since my last. I am really nervous  as I know things have got worse. Its that  I do and I don't want to know sort of thing.

My husband takes early retirement on Friday and he really wants to travel, but I am not sure I will be able to do much of that at all, which makes me sad.

So I am sorry to have a moaning blog post but I needed to write it down if only for myself. I am sure I will be back to Jollyjilly soon and if you are like me and suffer I feel your pain (really feel it) and know how you are feeling. If you know someone with chronic pain be kind and take care of them, excuse bad moods as it is not who they are.

This is the week This is!

This is the week this is! If you read my blog regularly ( and thanks for that) you will know that this is a special event this  week. On Friday my husband is taking early retirement from the fire service after a long and successful career. It really only seems seconds since he started and the time has rushed past us in a flash of light.

So I am rather stressed as on Friday we have a huge party for our family and friends, and its also Kevin's 55th birthday. So I am cooking and cleaning and trying to make sure the event it great  for him.
My children and their partners are also being great and I am lucky to have their support and unpaid work force lol.
So sorry for lack of posts the past few weeks but I think you will understand.
I will be back fully after the party and we have exciting plans for the future. All of this I hope to share with you and enjoy myself.
So I want to finish this short post by telling my husband how much I still love him, I hope he gets to have some fun and enjoy this new life.

Love you Kevin

Remembrance Day

Remembrance Day is one that I watch on television every November. I have always been moved by the sight of the old service people and the ones currently serving. Seeing the pride they have and the joy of remembrance of people long or just passed on.

I am married to a past service man. My husband was in the Royal Navy and thankfully he never had to go to war. I do know that if he had been called to do so he would have been there straight away.
I was so touched when they posted up a list of the soldiers that died this year . As the list rolled I was struck by how young that most of them were. What a sad waste of life and I feel for those families that have lost loved ones.
They interviewed a mother and father who had just lost their son. I cried to see pictures of him and hear them talk of him, then to hear his young sister read her words about him. It really did touch my heart.

So I feel I can say no more except a huge thanks to all service personnel past and present for keeping us safe. I hope they all stay well and safe and that we will remember them and not just on Remembrance Day.

Christmas

Christmas is coming just thought I would say lol. It only seems seems seconds since last Christmas and I don't know if its just me but the years are getting shorter the older I get. I love Christmas and I love winter. I really get excited at seeing all the lovely coloured lights and being cosy and warm.
I wish that I  could have a huge family Christmas with all those that have long gone and those we do not see that often. It would be so great to see my parents again and my aunt and sister in law, but sadly I will have to wait.

This year I am being brave and selling my handmade crafts at a Christmas event. My daughter in law Karen said I should try. I am always making things and love my patchwork and just craft in general. So for the last three months I have sewed and sewed and now I am worn out . I have made so many things but I really hope that people like them and it opens doors to a new venture.

I am also the proud owner of a web site (under construction) and if my plans go as I hope you will be able to buy some of my things from it in the near future.
So wish me luck and I will post more about the event and lots of pictures nearer the date. Christmas is coming :-)

If you live near South Woodham Ferres in Essex come see me on the 17th Nov  3-8 pm and you will get a lovely warm welcome

Weight Loss...... Or not!

Weight Loss.....Or not that's what I say and often. I am 54 and I have spent much of my life worrying about my weight. I was not big when I was younger until I turned five , I started to gain weight and no one really knew why, As a child my weight so had a huge effect on my life and the effects continue until today.
I let my weight hold me back from doing so much with my life, but bullying was the start of this.

You name it and I have been called it in the past. I have heard every "fat" joke going. I was very lonely but I had a some friends which stuck by me. I always wanted a boyfriend and I used to think if only a boy would see past my weight, he would see how fun I am.

Even when I got older I did lose weight and at one point got really thin, but i thought I was still fat. I was lucky I found my husband and even if in my eyes I was fat he thought I was beautiful. I remember my wedding day and being totally worried I was looking fat. I look at those pictures now and see I was nothing of the kind.

Over the years I have been big and also tiny but as I have got older its got harder to maintain a good weight.
To add to my problems I have very bad arthritis which has limited my mobility. I used to enjoy my fitness classes but that's all stopped now. These days I spend most of my time at home and life can be very lonely and hard. I put on a brave face but at times I am very sad. I told my doctor just yesterday that its a good thing I am upbeat as it could make some people look for a way out.

Two years ago I took the decision to have a gastric band. I thought it would totally change my life and I was so excited. Sadly even though I lost some weight it was not the life changing amount I needed. The band fail also added to my sense of fail . I have failed as a person yet again. They sell these bands as the cure of all and you can be slim. Never are you told that they may not work and if I had been more aware of this I may not have gone ahead with the operation.

So I fight on I want to say don't judge me on how I look. I eat very healthy food and I do not sit and eat all day. I can little to no fitness so what I eat does not burn off. However, I am a good person, I am happy and I think I am a good wife and mother. I am kind and will help anyone who needs it. I am a talented crafter and  I love to use my computer and much much more.

I am more than fat I am a person I AM JILL